A few glimpses

Glimpses of exactly what I'm not sure...

I've got pictures of the beginning of Kylie recognizing and actually starting to love her "boyfriend" ~ otherwise known as her second cousin Andrew;

of her actually starting to have about a 10 minute attention span (she enjoys watching Ni Hao Kai-Lan ~ well, the first little bit anyway!);

of her becoming a "big girl" and figuring out how to chew (and show off) gum;
of her sliding down the big, curvy slide at the park that scared the dickens out of her a few months ago with her "best friend" Susannah;of the hint of a dimple in her cheek as she giggles while saying "chee";
of her becoming a little mommy herself...

I suppose these pictures are glimpses of my baby growing into a self assured yet silly little girl. This is one of those strange times my mother told me about ~ that moment when you couldn't be more proud of who your child is becoming, yet you feel a tightness in your chest that it is happening already! I found myself telling my sister tonight that I am excited about how much Kylie is talking now yet I wish there were some way that I could always hear these cute inflections she puts on words today. The mix of emotions on wanting her to keep developing yet stay a baby just a little longer is almost suffocating! This blend of feelings must be the part of motherhood that is responsible for memory loss ~ we're too busy trying not to forget all the sweet stuff that happens EVERY day!

All I do know is that I am so very blessed to be Kylie's mom (and I'm pretty darn blessed to be walking this crazy road called parenting with my best friend who also happens to be Kylie's dad!)

Is spring here?

Last night we got home REALLY late from a Caedmon's Call concert with Adam and Traci. (If you aren't familiar with this group, I highly recommend their music ~ this was my third time seeing them in concert!) When the alarm went off to get ready for church this morning it was a real effort to even sit up in bed. After church all we really wanted to do was take a nap but the sunshine and balmy weather called us outdoors to enjoy "just being a family!"

Mom's house and land provides plenty of adventures! First my "city slicker country boy at heart" husband showed Kylie Grandma's tractor. She thought it was pretty cool until he started it up...

Then we headed up the driveway (right at a mile long) to the horse barn. Kylie started out holding our hands but quickly decided that striking out "on her own" about 25 feet in front of us was more exciting. As we walked behind her I more than ever realized that she is a little girl now. Gracious sakes, her 2nd birthday is a week from tomorrow...

Next came what can best be described as horse gazing. Kylie tried to communicate with each horse that she saw, sometimes waving, sometimes giving her best whinnie, sometimes shouting "Hehyo!" I have a feeling one of her first full sentences will be, "I want a pony for Christmas Daddy." We finally had to pry her away from the fences to head back down to the house for her nap. We didn't quite make it back before nap time started, but I didn't mind, there isn't much sweeter than holding a sleeping child!

I suppose to some our afternoon would have been a waste of time. To those people I simply say, "Slow down and savor the good stuff!"

Catution, contents may stain your child!

...Just a suggested warning label that SHOULD go on Push Pop lip balm! The damage done here was with the Strawberry flavor...

It was dark in the car and needless to say we were surprised when we saw her face at home. Despite several face washings and a bath this morning she was still rather pink today at church! Time will tell if her pajamas come clean...

For the record if you have a chapstick junkie, Fanta flavored lip balms in the 8 pack are also bad news for clothing, carpet and couches!

Jump for joy!

It was Leap Day today, right? Apparently Kylie got the word...

Who needs toys when you have your Daddy's shirt to entertain yourself with?

It's all in a name

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know much about when to expect many "toddler milestones" like potty training, speaking in clear sentences, physical development, and getting ears pierced. I was however slightly surprised that Kylie has ALREADY ~ at not quite two ~ become so opinionated...
This morning at preschool I walked in a room to overhear one of the women I work with declaring she was stunned that her daughter (who is almost 5) looked at her and said, "I don't want to be called Lizzie, my name is Elizabeth!" I had to say, "Oh, so the name thing before she turns two is not quite normal?"

These days when you ask our daughter, "What is your name?," her answer is consistent...

And for the record, (at least for now) we call her Kylie! We did choose to keep Baozhen as her middle name in case she ever wanted to be "more Chinese," I just didn't expect her to understand it already...

**Next morning... I just had to add a fun name fact! This morning Kylie and I are watching Ni Hao Kai Lan and this episode has a guest appearance by the ant colony. The leader of the ants is named Tsan Tsan (pronounced sorta like Zahn Zahn) which was Kylie's nickname from the orphanage. She thinks it's pretty cool to hear a name she associates with herself on TV!

Brightening Up Daily Chores

Laundry ~ it's one of those things I'm not fond of, but always seem to find myself doing...

After I finally felt human again following my flu episode, I decided that it was time to decontaminate the linens and all of our clothes. I had started the least fun part of laundry ~ folding ~ when the phone rang. I returned to the basket to find the previously folded load of clothes strewn about the floor and this adorable package in the basket instead...


Little imp! Oh well, at least it was only one load on the floor! I just continued folding clothes and stacking them on the couch while being totally entertained by the basket party happening next to me.

Oh, and ladies you can all be jealous! Today when I got home from preschool my darling husband had steam-cleaned the carpet in the living room, loaded and run the dishwasher, washed a load of Kylie's clothes, and had flowers on the counter. I asked him what was up and he said simply, "You've been really tired since you've been sick, I just wanted to be helpful." Love that man of mine!!!

Right before my eyes

Every time we see folks that we haven't seen in a few months I hear something along the lines of, "Kylie sure has grown!" And I've known it all along, but it's amazing how I haven't really seen it! Earlier this week Kylie grabbed a photo of her (Feb 12, 2007) off the fridge and brought it to me just as a current picture of her (Feb 07, 2008) was scrolling by on my screen saver. The comparison stunned me...



















Same dress, different year ~ so that's what six inches of growth LOOKS like...

A little time gazing

**I must take a sentence to say that Tamiflu is an amazing drug. (Hour long bubble baths are pretty good stuff too!) I'm still supposedly contagious, but I'm feeling much better already!**

Last night we bundled up and went to the front porch to watch the lunar eclipse. Kylie was attentive and really enjoyed using Daddy's binoculars to watch "muhn go ni ni!"

We didn't stay up for the entire thing, just long enough for the moon to completely fall into the earth's shadow.

This morning Kylie showed that her gazing doesn't only apply to scientific things that mommy and daddy think are cool...
I'm going with being glad that she's happy with what she sees in the mirror rather than worrying about vanity!

And we wondered about her crib escaping technique?

Guess this is a sign...

For the record, at church on Sunday Kylie added a tiny detail to her crib escaping story to her friend Susannah's dad. Two little words have put our search for a big girl bed into top priority. She told Joe, "I jump, I roll, I boo-boo." JUMP?!? In the words of my friend Cindy, "Enough with the poodles already!"

On President's Day Kylie and I were thrilled to have Ian with us for our "daily grind." We took advantage of the sunny skies and warm temperatures even though it was pretty windy and went to another local park. Kylie and I visited there last week and she proudly showed Dada how to go down the big slides without being scared. While we were there we ran into our next door neighbor, Madison. She is 6 months older than Kylie and they had a blast playing together until it was time to head home for a power nap!

On a bummer of a note, I came home from preschool early yesterday with the teeth chattering chills and a fever. This morning I still felt horrible and Ian took me to the doctor. Analysis ~ I've got the flu. Thank heaven that we have our moms and my sister nearby to help take care of Kylie!

Post Christmas Santa trauma

Man am I glad I didn't make Kylie sit on Santa's lap the day we saw him! Apparently just getting near the jolly old man did some damage. One of Kylie's favorite people in the world is her Uncle Adam's dad, Mickey. Mickey shared corn on the cob with her and taught her the sign for rain on her dedication day, let her fly a kite at the beach, and always shares food with her. But Mickey (like Mr. Claus) has white hair and a beard...

Sunday Adam's parents were in town and had lunch with us. When Kylie woke up from her nap she was pleased to see Ann, but the mere sight of Mickey brought tears! She practically crawled up my body and buried her face in my neck mumbling about Santa. We kept reassuring her and showing her a picture of Mickey that she's familiar with to help her realize who was in the room. Finally she seemed to get the point that it was indeed her beloved friend Mickey at the dinner table and not Good Ole (scary) St. Nick

Apparently by the end of dessert all was forgiven and Mickey was back to "good friend" status!

Bonding over a pint of boiled peanuts (they are the ONLY two people I know that like the slimy things!)

Mickey introduces Kylie to new technology, now my girl understands how to get music out of an I-pod. Maybe she can teach me...

I'm blessed beyond belief!

February 16, 2007 was the LONGEST day of my life to date. By the time it was all said and done we were in motion for 34 hours (because of time changes all but the last 15 minutes of those 34 hours were on the 16^th) with an infant in tow to get home from China. I've never been so happy to walk off a plane (the third flight) as I was at 12:15 am on the 17th!

Today ~ 365 days later ~ my mind was a swirl of thoughts. I woke up thinking about the friends we made a year ago. We all met on February 1st, but 15 days later we had become family! We all shared two common denominators, a strong faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and a dedicated love for our daughters. Our adventure together sealed the deal, we miss each family and look forward to a reunion with them all! We've been fortunate enough to visit with six of Kylie's “China sisters” (some of them several times) but I sure wish we all lived closer so we could have impromptu play dates and celebrate our "Gotcha Day" together! For a few minutes I was blue as I missed families 14-24, but then I thought of the words of Dr. Suess that I stumbled upon this week while doing a Google search, “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened!” Each person from each family brought a grin ~ Guangdong families of travel group 121, we LOVE you!

We spent a few hours at a local park enjoying the sunshine and warm weather. As I watched my independent little girl (I'm finally becoming able to admit to myself that she's not really a baby anymore) play on the playground I thought back about preparing to leave China one year ago. As much as I wanted to be home with family and friends, my heart actually ached at the thought of taking her away from her native land. We've vowed that we will do all we can to keep Kylie in touch with her heritage, but so much of that is beyond our control. I remember feeling so inadequate thinking of the foods, smells, sounds and sights from her culture that I have no power to provide on a daily basis. I never wanted there to be a time in her life when China seems like a foreign place to her, and yet I knew that by taking her home with me, America would become her “normal” and the land of her birth would become unfamiliar. Such excitement to head to our life together at home and yet such remorse to leave this fascinating place!

This morning I finished reading a book that brought floods of emotions. Beyond the Blue by Leslie Gould chronicles both the adoptive couple and the birth mother in the story of a Vietnamese adoption. (If adoption has touched your life, I STRONGLY recommend you read this book. It's both wonderful and horrible at the same time, you may wonder what I mean, but if you read it you'll understand!) As I watched Kylie laugh on the swings I felt both extreme joy and sorrow! Joy for myself as the mother totally in love with her child and sorrow for the mother in China who will never know her. I realize that (short of a miracle ~ and hey, I know better than to put limits on my God), we probably will never know the circumstances that caused Kylie's birth mother to make the decision that she did in the early spring of 2006. It's funny how time changes perspective ~ when we first started our adoption process, I was somewhat relieved that we'd have no way to contact our child's birth mother; now I wish there was a way that we could at least let her know how much the child she carried is loved. I wish that she could know the sweet personality, could experience the inquisitive mind, and see how beautiful our (and yes, I said our; her birthmother gave Kylie life and now Ian and I get to live it with her) little girl ~ our priceless treasure ~ is today! I'm so blessed, the road to becoming Kylie's mommy has been a total life changing event, and I'm a better person for it!

One item & a mommy lesson re-learned (twice)

Months ago we learned that not staying focused on Kylie when she is "on the prowl" can equal trouble with the diaper in the dishwasher and the wall mural incidents...

...or at least one would think I had learned! But the other day I wasn't paying attention the entire time we were at the store. I claimed on Wednesday that I had only come home with one item (Kylie's new chapstick pack) that wasn't on my list. That was ALMOST true. Apparently I was taking a bit too long while trying to find jet black sheer panty hose in my size in the display. I was focused on locating the correct size, color, and sheerness combo and watching to see that Kylie stayed nearby. While I did notice that she had thrown a few boxes on the floor (which I picked up and returned to the display in at least as much order as they had been in before) I failed to realize that she'd tossed a box into the cart. At the check out counter I was re-focused back on my beautiful child that seemed to turn into an octopus for all the candy and "impulse buy" items she was reaching for and didn't notice TWO pairs of panty hose get scanned. It wasn't until we got home and I unloaded the bags that I discovered our extra purchase. It would have been one thing if it was a duplicate pair of the ones I needed, but of course it was a pair that you'd never find in my house for two reasons ~ they were two sizes too big for me, and they are suntan color. Now really, who wants to wear panty hose in the summer? No thank you, my legs will be bare!

So you'd think that after spending $5 on something I didn't need or even want that I'd watch the girl a little more closely. But then today we were making cookies together. (By the way, I felt like I was chasing Pebbles around the house all morning. Kylie picked her favorite jumper out of the clean laundry while I was folding it and insisted on wearing it without the shirt or tights that go with it. I figured we were hanging at the house today, so what could it hurt). When she climbed up on her little stool to help me scoop the batter onto cookie sheets I just couldn't resist these chubby little legs! I got way to focused on snapping some shots of her and enjoying giving her some "emmies" (M&M's) and didn't pay enough attention to what else she could reach on the counter. A few minutes later she giggled, said something about a pretty scarf and I heard the pitter-patter of her feet running from the kitchen to the living room.

Guess I wasn't really going to take them back anyway...

Really, today?

Today when my child should have been napping we were out taking a walk instead. She was enjoying every single crack in the sidewalks, the chirp of every bird, the roar of every school bus engine that passed by (which of course brought her to singing). I on the other hand was not really enjoying the walk so much. I had too much on my mind...

You know how sometimes you have this "over-romanticized" vision of what a day is going to be like? I had one for today. Our first Valentine's Day at home (we were still in China last year) as a family of three. Over a cozy dinner here at home, we'd celebrate the love of a family. It was so perfect in my mind...

...Enter on the scene a crazed child who was falling asleep all over herself downstairs but REFUSED to sleep today. After a long struggle she fell asleep in her crib peacefully ~ for about TWO minutes ~ before the wailing banshee arrived on the scene. I left her room after telling her that I'd be back when she calmed down. The screaming stayed at its same intensity and pitch, but about 20 seconds after I left her room her door opened and she walked out.

I was stunned to say the least. After I managed to shut my mouth, I asked Kylie how she got out of her crib. At first she shrugged her shoulders and gave me the classic Kylie line, "I dunno?," complete with the shrugging of her cute little shoulders. But Mommy wasn't giving in that easy! After a long grilling, she finally came clean

(Her story remained the same when she repeated it for Ian ~ and the camera ~ a little while later. Note how she almost hangs her head and answers some of the questions under her breath ~ it's almost as if she didn't want to admit that she hurt herself, I think she was too proud about making her escape!)

So it looks like we'll be shopping for a big girl bed for her birthday, and kissing the last "unbreached" strong-hold we had in the house goodbye!

A Package of Pure (Lip) Bliss

Today was a low key day but due to the continued rain, Kylie and I had to get out of the house for a few minutes. We went to the store for a few random items and I stuck to my list with just one exception...












Kylie was enthralled with her new set of "bahdhats" (chapsticks) and after patiently trying to get to the eight new sticks of balm for about 10 minutes, she finally handed over her prize and asked for help getting them open.

Oh, and just in case you wonder why we now buy chapstick by the eight pack, check out what we call "The Chapstick Retirement Home." Amazingly enough, this is only a sampling of the now defunct lip balms that our little chapstick addict has polished off since Christmas...I only started keeping them in a container a few weeks ago. I've found some in the yard, there are a few empty ones in the car, and then there's the one that got flushed...

Man's (and a girl's) best friend

We had rain on and off all afternoon, so Kylie, Maya and I were stuck in the house when I got home from preschool. Kylie started working on her puzzle so I took a minute to load a few dishes into the dishwasher. I looked over the island to catch a priceless moment in "sisterhood."

Kylie must be contemplating how she "has it all..." ~ several Elmo (still her favorite character) dolls, her Little People barn, her baby, a cool purse, not one but TWO chapsticks in hand, and best of all a great furry sister that doubles as a pillow!

23 months!

How on earth did time fly by so quickly? Seems like just yesterday I was excited about Kylie turning 11 months while we were in China. She was barely standing on her own, she had two teeth, and she didn't talk at all. Now here we are a year later and she's turning 23 months! She runs almost everywhere she goes, she has 16 teeth, and she is constantly trying new words. Even with as much as she's grown (almost 6 inches taller and 8 pounds heavier in this past year) I can't believe that she turns TWO in 29 days. I'll be sad to leave her year of being one behind, but each stage ~ while perhaps a bit more challenging in some ways ~ has been just a little better than the one before. I'll continue to fall more and more in love with her each day and pretty soon I'll be flipping out because she is almost three...

Despite the fact that Kylie "more openly expresses her thoughts" these days (a politically correct way of saying that she can scream ~ scroll down and see the Happy Chinese New Year post) she really is quite a doll! We are constantly impressed with her physical skills (walking railroad ties in our yard as a balance beam, walking in high heels, and doing front rolls almost by herself) and comprehension (she follows simple directions to help out around the house and remembers the name of every person pictured on our refrigerator). The biggest change in the last several months has been her talking. Since Christmas her verbal language has exploded! She babbles all the time and is repeating us constantly, it's a good thing that we don't use ugly language. The most hilarious thing she's saying now is "Hay hun!" when she wants Ian's attention if he is in another room. She picked that up from me yelling, "Hey hon!" at him. I gently remind her each time she does it that his name is Daddy, but I guess she figures if I can call him hon then she can too.
She also LOVES music, either singing it or listening and responding to it. Tonight at praise team practice she was handed an extra microphone (that made her night!) and was having fun. Couldn't we all benefit by having the faith of a child and no inhibitions to respond to it...

My little Wheels on the bus "Diva"

Kylie got a package in the mail from her grandpa (who just got back from a two week trip to Hawaii) this week. When we checked the mail (in jeans, t-shirts, and bare feet ~ man are we having some WARM weather this week) her face lit up when I told her the biggest thing was for her! She started trying to open it before we even got back in the house. We stopped in DaDa's office to show him and in no time she had it open. She was enthralled by the little "muumuu" dress and started pulling her shirt over her head within five seconds of getting her dress out. She proudly wore it all evening!

Oh yeah, how cute is she!

Years ago I can remember thinking that some kids songs were really silly. But now that my little on is the one learning the words, I find myself LOVING the timeless child classic, "The Wheels on the Bus." Kylie has become a huge fan of the whole song, here are a few verses...

Music to my ears!

Sunny skies (& disposition) this morning!

So Kylie and I came downstairs this morning and she spied her silk dresses still on the couch where I tossed them after my defeat last night. She grabbed the pink one and said, "Ohn pese!" I reminded her that it was too tight, so she held up the blue one and begged... Before I knew it she was doing some light housework while I got breakfast ready. Man she cracks me up!


That's all for now, we're off to watch Ni Hao Kai-Lan...

And a Happy Chinese New Year to you...

...despite the fact that my sweet, darling child wanted NOTHING to do with having her picture taken in any of her silk dresses. Three hours later it is funny ~ at the time it wasn't so much...

I can hear her in my mind saying, "Umm, mama, this collar is a bit snug. I know that you said this pink one is a size bigger than the blue one AND that I've never even worn it, but can we take it off already?"
Then she runs to show me which one to try on next... "I like this one MaMa!"













Can anyone say incorrect sizing? Anyway, I listen to her polite request and switch her out of the pink dress to the white one she wore for her dedication back in July. She may not have used her rapidly growing vocabulary, but I can read her face to say, "What is with these collars?" She started pulling at it and before I could actually get the fancy (whoever came up with those pretty but devilish to button up closures should be tortured!) buttons open, she had a melt-down. "I said get me out of this crazy dress now! Maya for the love of all things, HELP ME!!!"













She ran around in her diaper for about two minutes and then spied the blue dress. Despite her negative experience with the pink and white dresses, this blue one has always been something she reaches for in the closet. I can't imagine that she remembers wearing it on the red couch, but she has always liked it. I figured that since she was reaching for it now that we'd have a different outcome and I could actually get some good pictures of her for Chinese New Year. What was I thinking? Who knows, but here's what she was thinking..."Hmm, I don't remember this being so tight two weeks ago at Darby's house..." And then it came, "You come get this dress off me now! And I want an M & M!"













And then DaDa swept onto the scene. (He'd been working to make up for the lost hours from this morning while I was at preschool.) He brought Kylie back to her happy place by doing "the hula dance with the Hula ducks" from Ni Hao Kai-Lan that they watched together this morning. Ahh, the magic of Daddys...

"Happy New Year Everyone!"

Oh, and for the record, shortly after this happy picture was taken, I put Kylie out of her misery and changed her into her comfy Carter's pajamas. But there were no M & M's...

Comparisons

Last night I was WAY too tired to journal more, but I wanted to include some pictures from the first day we met Kylie and exactly one year later. There are still many thoughts on the journey I took to motherhood that I want to share, but they will have to wait ~ I've got some last minute things to do to prepare for our Adoption Day celebration (we met Kylie on the 5th, but her adoption became legal on the 6th ~ in the future we'll let Kylie decide which of the two days she wants to celebrate, but for now we'll do both!) tonight with our family that traveled to China with us.


First are shots of her focusing elsewhere. The face has changed, but the intense expression when she hears a noise and tries to figure out what is making it hasn't much...













Then "playing" with toys. Last year she was quite content to hold Lottie's family album for quite some time. Yesterday she gave burying the dragon in rice her full attention for over 30 minutes...













Kylie's eating habits have gone from a hot ~ and I do mean STEAMING HOT ~ sludge of formula and rice cereal to just about anything ~ the more heavily spiced the better ~ with a strong emphasis on meat and fruit. Last night we decided to go celebrate at our favorite(and we think Kylie's too) restaurant, Gateway to Athens. After cleaning out the hummus bowl she requested more pita bread to scrape out the remaining hummus. We didn't have any bread left, so she did what any hummus loving individual would do, she used her finger to wipe it out...













It's the same, yet a different little girl that I see in both sets of pictures. Oh how I love this girl!