They said no

So, about last week. 

There are advantages to working at a start up company.  Ian has really really enjoyed the technical challenge of being on the leading edge of technology.  While my mind doesn't quite comprehend what he does ~ and maybe sometimes I start to get a little "glazy eyed" as he tries to explain it to me ~ I do recognize the excitement in his eyes as he gets closer and closer to solving problems at work. 

But there are also disadvantages.  Disadvantages that look like long hours and the constant stress of knowing that every few months the company must secure further funding from the investors. 

Monday morning Ian gave me a heads up that it was "that time again" and that further funding was looking questionable. At that point the CEO was giving the odds of the investors giving "the thumbs up" at 50/50 shot at best.

Wednesday mid-day he called to say that the investors had met with the CEO about the next round of funding. 

This time they said no. 

And no further funding means that there is no more money.  No more money means no more company.  No more company means no severance package, or even no COBRA health care coverage. 

Deep breath.

You know, we've been here before in "unemployment land."  Twice before actually.  Both times God held us in the palm of His mighty hand.  Both times our needs were met.

We know that He will provide this time too. 

Don't get me wrong.  I've gone from time of perfect peace to time of precarious panic.  Sometimes I swing back and forth several times a minute.  This time feels like it is different.  After all, we now have three kids to feed.  One of our children is requiring a lot of doctor visits (her surgery bill arrived the day after Ian's job abruptly ended).  There is no cushion of health care coverage and what we've found so far on the open market that will give us 80% coverage costs more per month than unemployment pays.  Our savings account was pretty well drained in paying for three adoptions and trips to China in as many years. 

See, when I take my eyes off Him, I start to panic again.  But upon further reflection, I think my God ~  the one who created the entire universe ~ has got this situation in his pocket.  And sitting in God's pocket?  Well, that's one mighty comfortable place to be.  Our unemployment situation did not surprise Him one bit.

The hard part is staying focused and switching our trust from our bank accounts to the one who created us to be able to work.  Please join us in praying that we'll learn to keep our eyes on Him for our provision.  And please join us in praying that we'll seek the door he is holding wide open for us instead of beating our heads into the one that may appear "slightly ajar." 


We're not sure exactly what comes next, but we're looking forward to what God has in store...