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9.22.2006

Calling myself out...

Yesterday I spent WAY TOO MUCH time surfing on the augustchinablossoms.com website looking at all the webpages that anyone with a LID (log in date ~ when our dossier was officially recorded as being in the CCAA's system) from August of last year. We are August 26, close, but not close enough. Anyway...

So I was looking at websites that other August families have. Call me obsessed, Traci called and when I told her what I was doing she asked if I needed help for my addiction. The house is still reasonably clean, Maya had been walked, and I'm getting food to the table for Ian, so I'm not too bad ~ yet. Ah yes, the websites. I've found myself hooked on blogs of other folks waiting for the word from China. I've read about COUPLES in Canada, Louisiana, North Carolina, California, Virginia, Florida, Georgia, even stumbled upon one from Belgium (but my French is too rusty to get much out of it).

Oh, so you noticed the word COUPLES? Yeah, I have a confession to make. Each time I'd click on a blog made by a family with children already, I'd automatically close it while making exploding noises in my mind. I know, that's AWFUL!! But there is a childish part of me that reasons that those of us without children should be allowed to jump in line before folks with one, two, three, or more children get to go to China. I'm sure that sounds so totally selfish and sef-centered of me. In fact I'm almost ashamed to write it. It just has been such a long wait.

And yes, I know that we do want to have a sibling (or two or three) for our little girl. (No, we still haven't settled on a name ~ that's another entry in itself, soon I promise). So I have to laugh at myself as I realize that one day in the next few years I will most likely be journaling the adoption process of child number two or three. And someone anxiously awaiting the referral of their first child will be spending entirely too much time surfing blogsites. And they will rapidly close the window of Fireworks and Fireflies while making explosion sounds. What goes around comes around...

3 comments:

LaoLao Shultz said...

I remember the last several months of my pregnancy with you (you ended up being nearly two weeks late; so, Dr Bolon finally induced me. It seemed like it would never end. The joyful anticipation made the waiting almost unbearable. Then you were finally born and all was right with the world! What you are feeling is very normal. Your pregnancy is "overdue"! Perhaps it will make it all the more precious when she does arrive!

Anonymous said...

"...there is a childish part of me that reasons that those of us without children should be allowed to jump in line before folks with one, two, three, or more children get to go to China."

Maybe childish and self-centered, but you're certainly not the only one thinking that!

Nancy said...

Oh my gosh! I felt the same way, why can't they move us up since we don't have kids. I feel different now that we have our hands full with Noah.