Spring Garden (fan dance)

again, back to February here...

Stage fright.
Performance anxiety.

Call it what you will, my oldest suffers from it.

To the point that it is sometimes crippling.

For two years I tried to convince her to give Chinese dance a try.

But the thought of performing.  On stage.  In front of hundreds who attend our metro area's Chinese New Year celebration?

Not happening.

But this year the promise of her sisters AND three sweet friends to help her get through finally proved to tip the scales in favor of experiencing a little of her heritage.

love the little brothers who dressed in silk to show support!
She loved her Saturday lessons and practiced her routine constantly at home.  It looked like all was going well until mere minutes before showtime.

And then suddenly stage fright began to paralyze her and she clung to me as if I would provide her next breath.

I'm not sure exactly how she managed to pull herself back together.  I think it was a combination of prayer, laughter, and the promise that I'd be on the front row to support her.  Still though, it remained questionable if she'd actually join her little troupe onstage until the last second.

With a stiff back and a look of resolution in her eye, she walked out between her sweet friends Sofia and Lottie.  The seconds before the music started were almost all she could handle.

And then the familiar notes began and we witnessed a little miracle.

My big girl was dancing in front of several hundred people.

And not just dancing, but dancing with a smile on her face!

I think I may have shed a few tears of relief and joy for her in the moment.

She has come so far, so far, in the time she has been mine.

As the girls unfurled their large fans, she was beaming...fitting that she was in the sunlight streaming through the windows at that moment.

She concentrated so as not to miss a step.

But she had fun.

And while I'm thankful I managed to catch a bit of her joy with the camera, I'll never forget how her face radiated with excitement, joy and maybe even a little surprise in herself.  She did it!

It was an exceptionally priceless moment.  One I pray she will carry forward with her...


Anonymous said...

Could have fooled me. Looks as though she was having a wonderful time.
A beautiful dance.


Kathy said...

I'm so proud of you Kylie. It takes real courage to do something that you are afraid of. And you succeeded beautifully. You are my hero!!
Love, Grandma Miller

Grandma Shultz said...

Kylie, Grandma is so proud of you. I hope you are proud of yourself. You were afraid but you did it! Oh, how I wish I could have been there to see you. Happy that I did get to see your practice a few times so I can just see you and the other girls swishing your beautiful big fans!