turning point

The beginning of our relationship has been rocky to say the least.

For the first eight days rejection was the norm.  Sure, occasionally I'd get a resigned, "Oh, I'm going to have to let her hold me, but I'm going to try to bite her first." For the most part, me offering my hand was ignored... 

getting dissed...again

And then Tuesday night, one week and one day after I met my youngest daughter, there was a turning point.  We had spent the afternoon and evening visiting New Day South (and I will be writing about that time later) and when we climbed into the van to head back to the Garden, Little Bit decided that only I would do.  And not just did she want to sit beside me, but she wanted to sit on my lap and snuggle in.  For nearly an hour of our ride she nestled her head against me and allowed me to rub her back and arms.  After a week of being pushed away, it was pure heaven.

The moments of allowing me into her heart have continued over the past several days.  Wednesday night she pitched a fit that attracted the attention of the entire China Southern flight because she wanted to sit with Mama instead of Baba.  And while we visited the Great Wall yesterday I was the only one that would do when she was unsure of her footing on the stairs.  (Um.  Wow.  You haven't gotten a workout until you've carried a 40 pounder up the uneven steps of the wall at Mutianyu.  I. was. wiped!)  She also wanted to sleep not with jie jie but ME our first night here in Beijing.  I drifted off to sleep smelling the clean scent of coconut shampoo in her hair and listening to her deep breathing.

We still have a way to go, by day she seems to want me only about 50% of the time.  But there is a lifetime ahead of us to learn the dance of our relationship.

The difference is that now I have hope of what it is going to look like...

(getting ready now to head to the airport...north carolina ~via detroit~ here we come!  we'll see ya in about 24 hours!)