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1.08.2012

Was there a time?

July 8.  Six months ago today.  It was the day after Daniel Zhenyu M became a US citizen in the Chicago airport.

taking a second to commemorate citizenship
July 8 was the first day that he woke up in his new country, in his new home, with his still "very new to him" family.

By day ~ as long as there was food nearby ~ he was just fine.
ah yes, lest we forget that dermabond spot...
Smiling, gregarious, babbling...  The common by-stander would never guess he had been with us less than two weeks at that point.
this one actually snapped on the 10th ~ i was in a blur those first 48 hours and didn't take many photos at all
Unless of course that by-stander was in/near our house at rest/bed time.  There was a reason behind letting him sleep where he fell in those few times that he simply "played himself to sleep," and being anywhere near our house would have given a clue why.
I briefly shared how hard it was for our little man to sleep when we first got home.  Even today, nearly six months after that was written, it is hard for me to read as that "tip of the iceberg" of what it was like floods painful memories back.  My precious baby just couldn't let his guard down to go to sleep peacefully.  It was when it was time to sleep that his grief came on full force.  It was so, so difficult to try to hold him and offer comfort and realize it wasn't me that could offer that comfort.  His little heart was broken and grieving a woman he had known as Mama for so long.

We hugged him, we did all we could to let him know that we were just an arm's reach away when he pushed us back, and most importantly we prayed.  And ever so slowly, the sobbing slowed down when it was time to go to sleep.  Each week brought shorter and shorter spells through the night.

And then, one day, we became able to put him on the bed for his nap, give him a big hug and kiss, lay one hand on his chest, and just a few minutes later we'd have this...
taken christmas day at mama's

oh how i love those piggies

no tears necessary, just peaceful slumber!
And where he used to push me away?  That no longer happens.  Now when he cries Mama during the night, it is me that he's looking for.  Most nights just laying a hand on his chest and whispering, "It's okay baby, Mama's right here." are all he needs to settle back down and continue sleeping.  But if that doesn't work, a quick snuggle does wonders.
we've come a long way, this little guy and i
And the dreaded one hour minimum bedtime show?  No longer exists.  Now he's quite happy to listen to story with the big kids, hug and kiss them ~ and his daddy of course ~ all goodnight, grab his beloved "blank," and come to my room where I read him one additional story.  (Currently it is a pop up version of David and Golliath, but Froggy Plays Soccer has been in the routine along with Green Eggs and Ham).  After the story and wadding his blanket up into a ball that he hugs to his chest, he's just recently added giving me a kiss, rubbing noses, and saying, "Mommy, you my bes frien (best friend)," before he closes his eyes.
this picture is off center ~ thanks to one of our under the age of six photographers in the house ~ but  i think i like it even more than the one above.  when he says "bes frien mommy," he's serious
At this point it feels like I've been a mommy of four for a mighty long time.

And that makes me ask, was there really a time?...


...when there were only three?
taken june 20, 2011 ~ the morning before we hopped a flight overseas...

12 comments:

Julie said...

So glad to see the light at the end of the sleep journey for you! I have been telling myself that 6 months from now we will be in a totally new place....but I needed the reminder again tonight. Thank you :)

Nancy said...

What a sweet post. Wow, have things changed in just 6 short months. Love the photo of the piggies!

Debbie Sauer said...

Love those piggies also! So glad things are turning around for all of you. He is so adorable. Blessings

Andrea said...

The world would not understand but I can see it in your face. Your delight and contentment seems to grow with each child.

Jordan Carl said...

What an awesome answer to prayer! I was remembering hearing the frustration as it was hard to get him to sleep, but moreover getting him to recognize you as his mother. What an awesome story of perseverance! Love you cuz!

Amy Murphy said...

So sweet!!!!

Laine said...

Love love love this, Kristi....
SIX MONTHS? No way!
I can't believe I haven't met this little fella yet! (well, I guess I did back in 2010, huh?)
Can't wait!

Annette said...

SO great to hear that he's finally over the sleep issues...and even sweeter to see the precious photos of you and him :-)

Heather said...

It's really nothing short of amazing how resilience and grace seem to be great characteristics of little souls. God is good!

Traci said...

How can it be 6 months already! Welcome to the family Daniel!

Lee and Sarah VanGrunsven said...

It's been 6 months already?!? It seems like yesterday(but yet...that he's been there the whole time:-) Such sweet pictures, LOVE the family picture at the end :)

Glenda said...

Beautiful to read about and a privilege to watch as it happens. Surely doesn't seem like 6 months.