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3.14.2011

remembering

got a phone call about two hours ago.  it came without warning.

today there is a grandfather sized hole in my heart.

i'm processing.

and remembering.  30+ years of snapshot memories are competing in my brain right now for front and center.   at some point i will likely try to capture many of them.  tonight it is too overwhelming.

in just a few words:

he was wise.

he was a man of honor.

he was a a man who loved his family.

he was a an amazing great-grandfather to my children.

i don't want to accept that he is gone.  i think i had convinced myself that he'd be around forever.  somewhat because he was still chopping his own firewood at 92, but mostly because i wanted him to be.  or maybe even felt that i needed him to be.

though i do smile in thinking that he is already planting trees in heaven.  and right now more than ever i choose to believe that we do recognize those that we love when we get there.  because then he has been able to see my grandmother, his wife of 65 years, who arrived six years before him.

i could have spent hours on the floor near his feet.  listening when he talked, but just being content to be near him when he didn't. 
he will be sorely missed...

we will likely be headed back soon to the ohio farmland that i love to say our last goodbyes ~ though this time i dread going. the beautiful farmland will simply never be the same.   please keep his three surviving children, nine grandchildren, seventeen great-grandchildren, and two great-great grandchildren in your prayers.  we're all going to need them.

35 comments:

Jordan Carl said...

He's a great man. Definitely planting trees as we speak. Love you Kristi, see you soon.

Melissa said...

You know....something had me thinking about you and praying for you right now. So sorry to hear about your loss, I have loved learning about him through the blog the past few years. Big hugs to you my friend, and for your entire family as you have to walk this sad journey. It sounds like he was an amazing man who touched lives everywhere.

Cindy M said...

I'll call you tomorrow. I'm so sorry, my friend. I know you loved him so.

Our Journey to China said...

Oh, Kristi...I wish I could wrap my arms around you right now. Please know I am sending hugs and prayers your way, dear friend. There are just no words, so I will pray. Love you!

Di said...

I am so sorry to hear your news. Hugs from Scotland.

Our Journey said...

I'm so sorry! Keeping your family in my prayers.

Amy Murphy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry, Kristi. I remember how horrible it was to lose my grandfather 6 1/2 years ago. It gets easier, but the memory will never go away, and I think that's a good thing. May the Lord give you grace and peace in the hard time. Cry. Cry openly. Cry with family, and laugh, too. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Donna said...

So, so sorry. Will be praying for you all. Please give hugs to your mom for us and keep a few for yourself.

Laurie said...

Oh, Kristi, I'm so sorry to hear this news this morning. I loved reading your posts about your grandpa, and seeing all the wonderful pictures of him with your kiddos. He will be missed so much by all of you!

Courtney said...

So sorry to hear that. It sounds like he was a great man. Safe travels.

Laine said...

Praying Kristi....my heart hurts with yours.

Ally said...

I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to you and your whole family. I'm blessed to have met him. I imagine he and your grandmother as well as your dad all rejoicing together in heaven now. Maybe they have a farmland of their own where they are fishing and planting trees. I was just telling my Bible study how you and your family were a spiritual marker in my life. I consider that your whole family, as I am lucky to have been embraced by them all in our college days. You and your whole family will be in our prayers. Please let me know if I can do anything to help.

Beth

Anonymous said...

And one more thing. I can assure you we recognize those who have gone before us when we get there. I see it everyday with my job. As people leave this earth, they show such joy about what they are seeing and where they are going. I have seen people kiss into the air as the reunite with their spouses and talk about the family members they see as they are passing. I imagine your grandmother met him with wide open arms.

Beth

Nicole said...

I'm sorry!
I will be praying for you all, that the peace that only could come from God will help all of you through this time!

Heather said...

Kristi, So very sorry for the loss of your grandfather. He sounds like an amazing man. I'll be praying for all of you. (I sent you an email prior to reading this so please disregard)

Heather

Tina Michelle said...

I am so sorry for your loss. *hugs*

5ennie said...

Kristi, I am so sorry for your loss. May God comfort you and your family at your time of loss. (((Hugs)))

Anonymous said...

There are not words but we are covering you in our prayers. We love your family. ~Kate and Andy

Tigger said...

Kristi, So sorry to hear about your loss. Safe journey to Ohio.

Stephanie Y said...

Oh Kristi, I am so sorry to hear this! Prayers.

Traci said...

My heart aches. I am so glad he didn't have to be in the hospital... he would have hated that! It is best that he went quickly while he was outside. Exactly where he would have wanted to be.
But it still hurts!

Pam said...

I'm sorry for your loss, Kristi. My grandpa was sooooo very special to me, and I miss him so much, too.

Nancy said...

Oh Kristi, I am so sorry and I will definitely keep your family in my prayers. I loved all your previous blog posts about him. He was a wonderful man!

Gwen said...

Kristi,
So sorry for your loss. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
That is a beautiful picture.

Julie said...

Oh Kristi, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I lost 2 of my grandparents last summer and I know how hard it is. I too thought they'd be around forever! We will be praying for you and your family.
Julie

Allison said...

Kristi--I was so very, very sorry to read of the loss of your grandfather. I certainly can empathize with your sadness. Many, many hugs to you and your family. I'll be thinking of you all as you travel to Ohio.

Lora said...

My prayers are with you all. Love your family to pieces and will be praying for you during this time.

Angela said...

So sorry about your grandfather but what a legacy he left your family! And what a joy knowing the separation is only temporary.

Anonymous said...

Kristi,
My heart and prayers go out to all of your family.

Love, Marge

Kimberly said...

Prayers of comfort and peace to you and yours... your grandfather sounds like such a wonderful man!

Lisa said...

Praying and trusting that God will hold you close.

Anonymous said...

Sending you a hug and a prayer!!

Love,
Kasie

Angela said...

You are in my prayers!

Wife of the Pres. said...

I'm sorry for your loss Kristi and sorry I'm just now seeing this.

I still miss my Granny and Granddaddy every single day. They were a very special part of my life. I can see in your posts that your Grandfather was fro you and your family too.

This is a beautiful photo you posted. May God comfort your heart as only He can.