Our current state

A keeping it real Sunday event.

Overall things are going really well.  Amazingly well when you consider it all.  Overall we are beginning to mesh as a family of five.

This picture was taken less than 24 hours after these two sisters met.  Their smiles at each other just warm my heart!

And this one taken almost exactly 24 hours after they met.  Don't they look like they got busted scheming something?

**Both those pictures are from two weeks ago ~ I'm just can't be bothered right now to go find my camera, the cord, and upload photos from the past two days.  Maybe tomorrow...**

But it isn't all perfect just yet.

There is the issue that Darcy prefers to do for herself.  Try to help her wipe her nose with a tissue and she glares and uses her shirt sleeve instead.  Ugh, Mt. laundry is beginning to pile up already.  Offer to help her put her clothes on or take them off and she swats in annoyance.  And feeding her?  Forgetaboutit...
Yes, it is great that she can do so much on her own.  But she also needs to learn that it is okay for mommy and daddy to do some for her ~ or at least help.

There is the issue that she is acting like a loner.  She'll play along with the rest of us for a few minutes, but then she just disappears and will go play on her own if we don't continually try to draw her in.  We need to pursue her, but sometimes when I'm so tired it would just be easier to let her play alone. 

And then there is the issue of sleep.  For the most part during the day she is doing well, but night is a totally different story.  She has been losing it around bed time.  By losing it I mean totally losing it.  The snubbing, grieving cry that is more heartbreaking than sometimes it feels like I can bear.  So Ian and I have done what we feel is best for her for now and she's sleeping with us.  And it's helping.  In the wee hours of the morning as she wakes up on and off I feel her grab my face between her little hands, as if to make sure that I'm there and not going anywhere.  Then as she dozes back off to sleep her little hands slip off, but she manages to keep at least a foot touching me at all times.  I'm a light sleeper, so I haven't slept well for a few nights.  I'm willing to make that sacrifice, but I sure would love it if she could sleep through a night...

Darcy sleeping in our bed also means that my sweet big girl who has looked forward to having someone in her room all night (Ky has sleep issues of her own, always has, we wonder if she always will...) is having to be really understanding.  And I just can't explain how much it pains me to watch that bottom lip quiver as she tries to be a big girl and say that she understands Darcy is scared and that someday she'll sleep in their room with her.  If we had something larger than a queen...

And there's also the unknown.  Some of our questions will be answered tomorrow.  Throughout our wait for Darcy we knew there was a real possibility that she may have glaucoma as part of her special need.  Two weeks before we left that was confirmed as the doctors who did her final medical before adoption picked up on it.  So we prayed for her eye and then set up an appointment with a pediatric opthomologist for as soon as we could after we got home.  They wanted pressure numbers and sounded in disbelief that she would be diagnosed without having measurements taken.  When we met Darcy it was obvious to us ~ even as non medically trained folks ~ that something was wrong with her right eye.  So tomorrow we go for our first appointment with her eye doctor (other appointments with other specialists will wait until language becomes less of an issue) in the morning.  Will you agree with me in prayer that the visit is not overly frightening to her, that we are able to get some questions answered about how the pressure has already affected her vision, and that we can get started with treatment to prevent further damage ASAP?


Allison said...

Poor sweet Kylie. I totally understand your heart breaking for her. Mine breaks for Maggie on almost a daily basis. You are all in my prayers.

The Ferrill's said...

Oh we will be praying for that appointment tomorrow, Kristi! And for a good night's rest for's amazing what sleep deprivation can do to ya, I know it.
Our biggie is Tuesday with the cardiologist...I'll keep you updated! Nothing like getting home and hitting the pavement running to appointments! Only by HIS grace!
Love the Pearl River pics....what fun memories!

Leslie said...

So many highs and lows... you are all in our thoughts & prayers. It must be so hard to try to balance all the kids' needs at once, but it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. Hang in there and know that we're praying for you. We'll be praying tomorrow and can't wait to hear the results of Darcy's appointment.

Our Journey said...

We will be praying for Darcy's appointment, and for you all as well. We'll pray for little Kylie's heart as well...I'm sure it's hard, but what a sweet child she is trying to understand that situation! Praying for more sleep for you too.

Lisa said...

I'll be praying like crazy for your appointment and for a good nights rest. I can only imagine how your heart must be breaking for both your girls.

May God give you peace and strength as you do all He has planned for you. May you feel His presence in an almost physical way. May He comfort Darcy as only He can. And may He lead and guide the doctor and use Him to bring complete
healing. Amen

Glenda said...

I'll surely be praying for Darcy's dr. app't tomorrow and for you to get some sleep.

Sharon said...

Will be praying tomorrow that you get all your questions answered and feel confident in her care.

As for the sleep issue....Hudson had such sleep issues ...he sounds like Darcy in that he would hold my head between his hands and sleep nose to nose with me..and yes, when I moved he would grab me back. I too am a light sleeper so for months I did not sleep well. We were just getting him in his own bed when surgery hit..back in our bed,,,,then transitioned to his bed and I moved to MN....back in my bed...back to his bed a few months after coming home..throw in my mom dying, traveling, epilepsy....JUST this past week has he been back in his bed and this is the first time in two years he is finally going without crying...TWO YEARS!!! I pray it isn't that long for all of you, for you, Ian, Darcy and Kylie but we seem to uncover more SN's and know in the long run it has been the best thing for Hudson with all the transitions, etc....hang in are doing an AWESOME job!!!!!

TanyaLea said...

Oh Kristi~ Not only will be be agreeing with you in prayer...but we'll also be praying for complete healing and restoration of any damage that may have already been done. The good news is that we all know the One who created those eyes, so He knows EXACTLY how to put them back together! We will be thanking Him for just that! Hold fast to your faith and know that the rest of us are out here prayin' along with you and standing in the gap each and every day!

Praying also for rest for ALL of you and that God multiplies your sleep so that you can function and take it all in. Hang in there... I trust there are BETTER days ahead! <><

Blessings and Hugs,

Jenn said...

Praying for Darcy today and her eye visit!

Pam said...

Praying for sweet Darcy and her eye appt. today.

And Kristi, I am really praying for Kylie. I KNOW how your heart is breaking for her. We had the same situation with AC and Kate. Kate was SO standoffish with AC those early months, and it BROKE my heart. We had AC so prepared ahead of time on being a big sister. And then, Kate didn't want any part of AC. I know your situation is different, but it is still hard on your big girl, and therefore hard for YOU.

And I am praying for some sleep for YOU.

Anonymous said...

Praying for Darcy's appointment and the M_ family's health in general.

About the sleeping, would you consider putting Kylie on the floor in your room? Just a thought.

Steph Y
(Flossie Mae) :)

Nicole said...

Praying for eye appointment!!

Praying that the "new normal" emerges and all involved feel loved and can be really "happy"!!!


Nancy said...

I will be praying for the transition to a family of five as well as her ophthal. appt!

Di said...

My thoughts are with you all. I hope that all the sleep issues resolve themselves quickly and that the eye appointment goes well.

Melanie & David said...

Lots of prayers and best wishes coming your way - for all things and the big eye appointment. Also, for you getting some much needed sleep - just something to ponder, could she possibly have an ear infection? Isaac started to fall apart being put down at night and was waking up multiple times and crying. We thought he was grieving or frightened waking up in a strange place but it turns out he was in pain! He had seen the doctor second day after being home and his ears checked out fine - until four days later when the right ear had a rupture which made him feel better but made me feel so bad he had been suffering - so just a thought that she could have the same thing. Now he is back to a short cry and then sleeping through the night. I know you need some realy good sleep right especially as you recover yourself. Lots of good thoughts coming your way. I also feel for your big girl Ky - we have also become too familiar with the quivering lip of our big girl and its heart breaking - different issues but still so hard so we hope that soon Darcy is sleeping with her loving big sister. Melanie, David, Indigo and Isaac

Anonymous said...

I've been loving your blog--I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to post a comment on Darcy yet... Anyway, I will definitely be praying for her doctor's appointment tomorrow. And for sleep for ALL of you and for her to feel totally at home with you and the rest of her family. If anyone is capable and able to do this, it's YOU and Ian. (With God's mighty grace and help, of course...) I miss you.


a Tonggu Momma said...

Just wondering how the appointment went yesterday.... check in and let us know when you feel able.

Anonymous said...

Welcome Home M Family!!!
Thank you so much for keeping us all updated during your trip, etc. It is wonderful to see and read how you all are doing. We certainly pray Darcy's eye appt. went well and you were able to get some answers!

Do you have any idea if Darcy slept in the same bed as her foster family? I have heard of that happening in the Asian countries, so she might just be used to sleeping in the same bed with that family all these years? So glad you all are home and settling in. Hope everyone is well soon!


Love for Lilly Yin said...

BTDT, every last bit of it...really...everything. Big Ole ((HUGS)) for you.

Amy Woods said...

Praying and agreeing with you!!