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7.11.2010

Sunday Snapshot {A surprise gift}

**I published this same post as my monthly contribution to No Hands but Ours.  I decided to re-publish it here in hopes that it would open one more person to ask themself the question, "Can/should I adopt a child ~ a boy even ~ from the waiting child program?"**


I have a son.



Every now and then that statement still surprises me.

When my husband and I began the road to building a family through adoption from China, we simply assumed that we'd have daughters. (At the time we were oblivious to the fact that there were boys who were waiting for the love of a forever family).  Initially I was disappointed that there would be no little guy to toss a baseball in the backyard or take camping trips with his daddy.

However I quickly got over the letdown and began to build my vision of a houseful of little girls.  After all, I grew up with a sister.  My boy cousins lived three states away.   A few of my mom's closest friends had boys, but I spent, at most, a few hours a week with any of them.  Based on my limited experience, boys were a totally different species.  They were loud, wild and unpredictable.  I asked myself why I would want to raise one and focused instead on all things pink and hair bows.

The path that brought my little man into my life didn't happen all at once.  Slowly my eyes were opened to the waiting child program when we were paper chasing for our second child.  At that same time I became newly aware of friends who had raised kids with special needs.  And then I realized that there were indeed boys waiting to be placed in homes.

So we took a leap of faith and checked that we'd be open to a boy or a girl with various special needs in our second set of paperwork.  Less than two months after our second dossier had been submitted we were matched with a little boy from the shared list, and six months to the day from our LID we were stepping off the plane in Beijing, three days away from meeting our son.



Before he walked into my life I thought the phrase "Mama's boy" had a negative connotation.  Now I fully understand how much love and affection can be behind it.



He has added a "rough and tumble type" of joy and exuberance for life to our formerly "pink and hair bows" existence.



He loves Lightning McQueen, potato chips, God, and his family ~ though not necessarily in that order.  He is amazingly strong, and quite clever.  What he lacks in size he MORE than makes up for in enthusiasm and determination.  What he does, he does with all his heart and might.  He is fast and impulsive, not always a great combination, but an accurate description.



I've found that many of my earlier ideas about boys are true.  He is usually loud.  There are times that I'd use the world wild to describe his mood.  And he is predictable only in that you can count on him to be somewhat unpredictable. He is "all boy."

And yet, even though sometimes I question if I have what it takes to help mold this bundle of raw energy into a respectful young man, he's stolen my heart and is an integral part of our family.  If I had stuck to my plans or preconceived notions, I would have missed him.  I'm so thankful for the things which opened my heart to possibilities I hadn't seen and people, blogs, events, and God's nudgings which overcame both our uncertainty of raising boys and our fears of "special needs" and allowed us to see each child as a unique gift from God.

Oh yes, I received a surprise gift.

I have a son. From China.

images courtesy of Tricia Roller Photography

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   It's been a while since I've participated in Stefanie's Sunday Snapshot.  But it is always a fun way to focus on just one of my kids, or a topic that's on my mind.  To read others, or play along yourself, check out





Ni Hao Y'all

31 comments:

C.C. said...

Beautiful post.

Kim said...

Your son is adorable!! God's Blessings!

Rachelle said...

He is such a handsome little guy!

Annie said...

I have a Caleb too:) Boys are so much fun and I don't think I would have appreciated my girls so much if I had not had my 3 boys first! Your Caleb is just adorable and sounds like, all BOY:)

Nancy said...

Those photos are amazing and capture exactly how you describe your little man!

Our Journey said...

Beautiful words, beautiful pictures & one handsome little boy!!

Tina Michelle said...

great photos! Your son is beyond adorable. Very well written post.

Cindy M said...

I adore this set of photos of Caleb. I could frame a couple of them myself, and he's not even my kid.

And you forgot your new understanding of the term, "Son..."

:-)

Melanie & David said...

Wow - I have missed your posts! We have been gone from the computer for over a week while we have been on vacation and now I am stealing a moment on my MIL's computer. Such a poignant post about darling Caleb and so much of what I feel too - that we would never have a boy and what on earth to do with a boy, and now we have our own little "all boy" who loves trucks, cars, construction vehicles, airplanes and has a capacity for getting more dirty than I thought possible, but he is oh so loveable. The pictures are amazing! I would have to blow up and frame every one. That Caleb sure is a looker. Love, Melanie, David, Indigo and Isaac

Carla said...

Great post!! He is such a cutie, I just love his smile. It is so contagious.

Anonymous said...

Kristi,
I just have to tell you this is one of my favorite posts! Not long after you brought Caleb home, I remember telling you how much he reminded me of Bryce. I told you he was 100% boy. At the time I remember you telling me you weren't sure exactly what that meant but I knew it wouldn't be long and you would it figure it out. I thought I only knew how to raise a girl, never had been around many boys but when God gave us that little boy, my heart was changed forever. Thank God for "mamas boys"!!!
Lesley

Shonni said...

Yes, beautiful post. Several of our sons where waiting for a family to find them, and we have never regretted it!!!
In fact, we are pursuing the adoption of a sn boy that is 6 years old in China. We are so excited, and again, also a little scared. What a journey!!

Leslie said...

Beautiful, Kristi. You are so talented with the pen (keyboard) and the camera. =) And you blessed a bunch of other people (like me & Jason) when you found Caleb, too.

Heather said...

I love the pics. They are beautiful. Boys are awesome, aren't they! I think sometimes people are afraid of adopting them thinking they will be troubled and sometimes they just have an idea in their head and are stuck on a girl. Boys are great!!!! Although, my mom is still nagging for us to bring home a girl!!!!

Sharon said...

Loved this post...and how cool that we were meeting our daughters on the same day on different continents!

Larry and Carol said...

Congratulations to Trica on her great photos and of course with a subject like Caleb, prize winning.
He is precious.

Jenn said...

Beautiful post and pictures. What a blessing he has been to your family.
<><
Jenn

Traci said...

Wow! Caleb you are a blessing to all of us! Your mommy was very accurate in your discription! We love you!!!
Aunt Cici and Uncle Adam

Melissa said...

Kristi - this post evoked so many emotions in me, and I felt like you spoke so many things that I feel in my heart. YOU were an inspiration to me when God showed us Matthew, and still are. Caleb is a beautiful, wonderful little boy and you are right, he's a GIFT!!! You also have a gift for writing! (Oh, and we have to get the boys together, Matthew is CHIP monster and being that his Daddy works for a chip company - look out!!!)

Dardi said...

Beautiful pictures...I would that his energy is not the only "problem" you will face b/c he's quite handsome!!

Thank you for speaking of boys as "gifts". Our son from Ethiopia was one of several waiting, & that list never seems to go away. Our son has been an ever-surprising gift that we seem to get to unwrap every day. From his sense of humor to his thoughtful, compassionate heart, I am constantly thankful to get to be his mom.

Di said...

Hi Kristi
What a lovely testament to Caleb! Boys - they are a lot of fun - I get on so much better with the children of my friends who are boys or tom-boys - always have!

I am sure he will bring joy to your family forever!!

natali said...

beautiful post & one gorgeous little boy!!

thebaushouse said...

Love it Kristi. Beautiful.

Karen Firstbrook said...

Beautiful post.
Beautiful son.

Stefanie said...

Love this post, Kristi! We had such similar feelings as we went into adopting a boy from China... and BOY, were we BLESSED!!
Thanks for sharing your precious little guy with us! He's positively darling :)

Heather said...

Love it .. beautifully written my friend. :)

Andrea said...

That is perfect! What better gift than a son and the One who gave him to you!

Sammons said...

He is just breathtaking!!! We are such lucky moms to have been been blessed with these gifts! I love the shot of him in the air *airplane style*
Mary

TanyaLea said...

Oh Kristi... I'm glad you published this BOTH places... I already read it on the NHBO site, and LOVED it! I'm so glad you took this opportunity to shed some light on the JOYS of adopting little BOYS, too!!...the rewards are priceless!!

Hugs,
~Tanya

Teresa said...

Boys are wonderful. They are truly a wonderful gift and they love their mommas. You don't know what you're missing in life until you hold your little boy in your arms.

Our Journey to China said...

What a joy!! God is so good to bless us in ways we least expect it! Love the post and pictures!!:0)