Missed it by that much...

So, in the words of Billy Crystal (at least I think it was him), we with a log in date of August 26, 2005, "missed it by that much" with the cut off this month being August 25, 2005. Aargh!!!

Emotions got all jumbly in my head and heart this morning when I checked the CCAA's site before I went to work. Let me try to take you on a waltz with my thought pattern...

It started as, "Well, I have a minute or two before I need to head out the door. Let me send an email to the future grandmothers and Aunt Traci telling them to check out Maya's stardom in yesterday's blog entry. Hey, while I'm on here, I may as well check the CCAA site. I'm sure it hasn't changed, but one can hope!"

So then I pull it up and as I'm first glancing I can tell that it HAS CHANGED!!!! In my mind I'm screaming, "Wait, what is the new date? WHAT?!?!?!?!? Does that say the 25th. You've gotta be kidding." Then I become vocal to alert Ian sitting on the other couch, "Hey honey, you're not gonna believe what the CCAA site says." I'm sure he can tell by the tone of my voice that while a change is good news, that it isn't THAT good news. So I tell him the date is the 25th and what is his response?

"Let me see." As if I can't read a stupid date on a computer screen. Maybe it is a 26 but I just can't see it? Come on, that is something my two year olds at pre-school may make a mistake on, not me. (No seriously, I know he just wanted to see it with his own eyes ~ I'd have said the same thing...) Anyway, that's when the tears started.

No, it wasn't a sobbing kind of cry. And I'm not even sure that the tears were all that sad either. I think that it was a combo kind of deal. Of course there was some disappointment. I mean the CCAA did get 18 days worth of paperwork done in the previous month and we were only 17 days away. There had been reason to believe that there was a faint chance this would be the month that we would see our daughter's face. But I think the tears were perhaps a bit of relief as well.

Ever since last Sunday night (the 22nd) I've been on high alert emotions waiting to see if referrals were on the way. They were getting close to the longer end of spacing between referral sets and all in the China adoption community were getting nervous. Folks were talking and many had fears that something was wrong on the other side of the world. And then my panic started ~ I'll admit to being terrified that international adoptions from China were going to be shut down.

But today's news brought comfort! Yes, all is okay in "China adoptionland." We may not have made it this month, but the CCAA can't update without including our date next time! WE'RE NEXT!!!!! By this time next month (unless there is some agonizing delay on referrals arriving in the US) we should have our precious daughter's picture. And that piece of information is keeping a goofy grin plasterd on my face! She may not be here with us for Christmas this year, but her picture will be in the house! We'll know where she is and can even get a package together to be mailed to her for Christmas.

When I called Mama this morning she wasn't quite sure how to react. She asked me if she could say a bad word. (She didn't in case you are wondering ~ but I had already said "oh horse poop!" ~ as my friend Della would say) Mama then asked if I was okay. I told her I was and then she said, "Well, if you're okay, then I'm okay" So be okay with us and celebrate that the wait should end within the next four weeks! Hang in there baby M____ ~ we're on the way!


LaoLao Shultz said...

The phone call this morning just sucked the breath out of me. I wanted to scream and cry but had to be sure that Kristi was OK before I uttered a word. I stayed pretty calm and after finding out that she was OK (however, I could tell by her voice that she had been crying) - then I knew that I could be OK, too.

I keep referring to "our" baby. I know how anxious I am - can't even imagine how the adoptive parents are feeling. Emotions seem to keep on a roller coaster! But it is on the horizon now! WooHoo!

sherry said...

Seriously? Seriously.